Growth–the one word I would use to describe weeks 20-25. As the end of this second trimester comes into sight (pregnancy is flying by!), I feel like I wake up bigger and bigger every day. The second trimester was definitely off to an amazing start, but then month 5 came and morning sickness veered its ugly head yet again. Morning sickness has not been as bad as the first trimester, but enough to keep me near the ladies room. With growth also came leg cramps, lack of circulation, pregnancy insomnia, and the arrival of the much-anticipated uncomfortable stage; but though all those things might sound a little disconcerting or painful, I still remain full of JOY (this is why Emarosa’s middle name is Joy). And another reason as to why I have joy to the fullest is because she is definitely alive and well! In fact, I am convinced that she will either be a dancer, gymnast, or soccer player because man, can this girl move and kick! Emmy (her nickname; no Ema or Emma please) kicks and moves almost non-stop. It is the most amazing and surreal feeling I have ever experienced. Life moving within—there’s nothing like it! Philip has been able to feel her kicks a lot more now and even SEE them! Again, so amazing.
After Emarosa’s epic Gender Reveal Party, Philip and I began to start on preparations for her, including registering and prepping her nursery! Walking through Babies”R”Us and Target, picking out what we wanted for her and her room, made it all the more real. God has really entrusted us with one of His precious daughters! And this, my friends, has brought me to what God has been working on within me lately…
I truly think that there is more behind the reason as to why we are pregnant for 9 months. Other than the baby needing to grow and form, I believe the parents need to grow as well. Philip and I have been talking more and more about how we are going to raise her, discipline her, teach her, read to her, talk around her, where we want to take her, and the list goes on. And on my end, God has been really showing me how much of a role I will play in helping to form and mold her into the woman she is called to be. The issues I have regarding self-esteem, lack of confidence, and a plethora of others, can be things that I can pass down to her; OR I can allow for God to work on me right now so that she can see a confident mother who instills the same within her. So, I have been allowing for God to sift out the ugly in me a lot as of lately, because it is not just about me anymore. Selfishness is being replaced by selflessness and an overwhelming love for a being I have yet to hold. I want Emarosa to know who she is in the Lord—to see herself as the Lord sees her. So, my prayer this week has been, “Lord, I want to see myself as You see me.” Because I truly believe that as I do, so will Emarosa.
And along with that, even from the womb, I also believe that we can begin to teach our children and introduce them to things like worship (and other good music) and the word. I have been reading the word (aka Bible) to Emarosa since I conceived, especially once I found out that her hearing was developed. I wanted to start reading God’s word to her now. And as silly as it sounds, I have already been teaching her lessons as I read His word (but then they end up needing to be what I need to hear/learn, so yea…haha). But what a perfect way to start the routine we all want in our families then right now, during pregnancy, right? My fellow pregger, Clarissa and I were talking about this a few days ago (we swim 3 days a week together and are due 3 days apart as well!). We were discussing how our babies (she’s having a boy—hurray!) are going to know nothing, and how we are responsible for teaching them, showing them, being their examples, loving them as Christ loved us and much more. We want to begin our routine now with them because then we will be more likely to continue to read to them, worship with them, and see them grow into their own walk.
I also have other reasons as to why I am already reading to her now. For instance, people are becoming lazier readers and I want her to LOVE the written word. But I will stop before I get on my soap box and just end this segment by saying that it is important people, so please read to your kiddos 🙂
So, continue to teach me Lord! I am willing. I am ready. Because again, it is no longer just about me. I want to raise Emarosa to the best of my ability. I truly believe she is going to do greater things than I have, see greater miracles, be a miracle, and bring You full glory. But it all starts with Philip and I. So continue Your way in us and our home, oh Lord.
Mmmm… yes. A beautiful time this is. Until next time, go away, go read some books! Haha! Nacho Libre for anyone who didn’t get it 😉
Entrusted and Excited,
Erica and Emarosa Joy